Most people may think of swimsuits, evening gowns or even makeup when it comes to a pageant, but one DeKalb woman won a crown that represents something deeper for her. She plans to use the platform to help spread mental health awareness.
Alaysia Gonzalez Giraldo is a wife and mother of four, but this year she earned the title of Mrs. Illinois 2026. She grew up in Aurora, then moved to Montgomery. She now lives in DeKalb. She said she wanted to try new things this year. She came across a Facebook post for Mrs. Illinois United America by United Crown America, which was started in 2024 by Harley Zepeda.
This isn't your typical pageant. It is conducted online. There are different divisions, from toddlers to those over 40, for both single and married participants.
"I am in the Mrs. division," Giraldo explained. "So I submitted the application for Illinois, and they ended up deciding that they liked my headshot. They liked the questions that I answered, so they ended up picking me."
Giraldo wanted to relive a dream that never came to fruition when she was younger.
When she was 12, she competed in the National America Miss pageant, where she won runner-up. She was going to compete nationally, but her family had other financial obligations.
Giraldo left the pageant life behind and continued with her journey. But she said something felt different as she transitioned into her teenage years.
She dealt with some traumatic things during that time. One was the murder of her uncle. Then, when she was 16, she got pregnant but wasn't allowed to keep the baby.
"I feel, in a way, it was kind of like a forced abortion," she said, "and dealing with two losses and trying to grieve from those losses at the same time, I feel like it definitely enhanced the negative behaviors of my mental illness."
It was an illness she didn't realize she had at the time. She found herself in a relationship when she was 17. The guy wanted to end it. She said she left school and told him that she didn't want to live anymore. She went to a park, and the ex-boyfriend communicated with her to find out her location. He told the dean's office, and the police got involved. After that incident, Giraldo was taken to a mental health facility, Ascension Mercy Behavioral Health in Aurora. She was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and put on medication.
"I started to feel a little bit better," she said, "but it also was eye-opening in the perspective that, like, I was in there with other kids who were literally going through psychosis, or were schizophrenic, or dealing with, um, more severe mental illnesses than I was at that time."
Several years later, Giraldo found out that the original diagnosis wasn't correct. She had court-mandated therapy. Giraldo told the therapist that she thought she was dealing with borderline personality disorder.
"My manager at the time at my job, she told me that she had it," Giraldo said, "and I asked her to explain, you know, what it looks like. And she ended up explaining it to me. I'm like, 'Oh my God, like these are the exact same symptoms that I'm having.'"
Giraldo met with a psychologist, and that is when she was formally diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.
But how could someone mix up the two disorders?
"What's kind of confusing too is they're both BPDs," said Suzanne Degges-White, professor and chair of the Department of Counseling and Higher Education at Northern Illinois University.
She explained the difference between bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder.
"With bipolar disorder, there's more of that swing between manic phases and then depressive phases," she said, "and it's kind of much more a mood disorder, where borderline is more of a disorder of thinking and how people think about things."
Degges-White went on to say borderline personality disorder affects how we see relationships and how we see ourselves.
Giraldo gave a personal example.
"Maybe like somebody cancels plans," she said. "Now I'm thinking, 'Oh, they hate me. They don't want to be my friend anymore.' Like then I start pushing them away before I feel like they could hurt me or push me away, and it's little things, little misunderstandings that can make me feel like I'm hated. I'm not worthy."
Giraldo shared that she was also sexually abused as a toddler.
Degges-White said something like sexual abuse can trigger borderline personality disorder.
"Some of the good news," she said, "is that research does tend to show that as people get older, the symptoms get less severe, and so people can get past that with, of course, the help of therapy and intentionality."
Giraldo said she wants to educate as many people as possible about the disorder, and holding the title of Mrs. Illinois gives her the platform to do so.
Sharing her story has prompted others to reach out to her. Some have told her they think they are dealing with the same thing she has but explained that they don't have access to health care. She's able to share her story with them.
"If I can educate one person about my diagnosis and help them understand themselves a little better," Giraldo said, "I feel like my mission is complete."
She is taking medication and said she is doing well. She said her purpose in life is to heal people. She wanted to figure out how she could continue to do this while making a decent living to help support her family.
"And the answer that just kept coming up over and over again was nursing, and my mother is a nurse," she added. "My godmom is a doctor. Her mom, which I call her grandmother, she is a nurse as well."
Giraldo will start the nursing program at Kishwaukee College in the fall. She also plans to compete for the Mrs. United America title.
She will continue to speak at events around the city and said she hopes to start a mentorship program for young girls. But the main thing she wants to do is spread the message about taking care of one's mental health.
If you need someone to talk to about mental health concerns for you or someone you are close to, call the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
Copy Edited by Eryn Lent
