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Perspective: It's called 'Elderspeak,' hon.

Susan Stephens
/
WNIJ

At some point in time I had to admit I was old. I think the world around me noticed before I did. The wake-up call came when I was ordering breakfast.

 

"What can I get you, sweetheart?" Those words from the waitress were a bit surprising. When she brought my over-easy eggs she said, "There ya go, darlin'. Enjoy."

 

I automatically replied, "Thank you, hon."

 

Waitresses generally do not call younger men "dearie" or "darlin'." Do they? I have joked that being old means I can flirt with waitresses. Or more like I can pretend that waitresses are flirting with me.

 

That restaurant chitchat, however, comes close to what experts call "elderspeak." Apparently it's common at nursing homes, where you might hear a caregiver say, “Are we ready to take our bath?” Some experts say such baby talk can be demeaning. It suggests they are frail and somewhat helpless.

 

Well, maybe they are, but I can see how I would not enjoy being treated like a baby — someone who is helpless or being told “no” like my parents used to do.

 

We can label people simply by how we speak to them. Caregivers mean well, but I see how that could be an issue for some. It would help to set boundaries.

 

But ... right now ... I will not be offended if a smiling waitress delivers my breakfast, saying, "Eggs over easy. Enjoy, you handsome devil."

 

I’m Lonny Cain … and that’s my Perspective.

Lonny Cain, a graduate of the journalism program at Northern Illinois University in DeKalb, has been in the newspaper business for more than 45 years. He and his wife have three sons. They live in Ottawa, where he was managing editor of the local daily newspaper for 30 years, retiring in December 2014. He continues to be a columnist for The Times in Ottawa and is pursuing other writing projects.