I have a deep-rooted admiration for a man who never actually existed: Atticus Finch, from Harper Lee’s novel, To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee.
I often go back to something Finch said to his daughter Scout, “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view … until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.”
Turns out, that’s not so easy in actual practice. What I suspect most of us do is walk around in someone else’s skin as ourselves.
While that is better than not walking at all, it does not rise to the level of walking in that skin as that other person. That requires a lot of hard listening -- not the kind of listening where we are simply waiting for the other person to stop talking so we can talk. It’s the kind of listening that leads to a better understanding of another person’s perspective.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten at least marginally better at walking around in other people’s skins. The result is that my life has gotten both better and harder at the same time.
Better, because I know my perspective is usually flawed or incomplete. So, I end up having to listen harder and think harder about my own beliefs. And that’s a good thing.
Harder, because my perspective in a situation is usually flawed or incomplete. So, I end up having to listen harder and think harder about my own beliefs. And that’s a good thing, too.
I’m Andrew Nelson, and that’s my perspective.
