My father Denny passed away 12 years ago, tragically. It was sudden, unexpected and a violent blow to my loving family. He and my mother were married for over 40 years, and I am happy to say that she is alive and well, tending to the loving family they both created. I dwell on all the grandkids, spouses, and family trips he will never get to experience. And it makes my heart sink.
However, out of the heartache comes something that I never even thought about until today. His children and even his grandchildren represent him on this earth in a way that seems almost surreal. Now in 2023, 74 years after he was born, his aura and smile still shine with us. Whether it is both of my sisters’ love for their students they teach and how they show up to work each and every day -- Both because it is what both they and their families need and what they love.
My brothers coaching their young kids in sports, showing our youths how to play and enjoy some of the best moments and times of their lives -- with a grueling passion to win and have fun. The empathy that his grandkids have for the planet and all living things on it, determined to keep all that is good in the world on the right track for their inevitable families. This is a learned behavior. And that essence of him is in all of us, and it is no accident.
I want his face at my daughter’s birthday party. I want to see his approval on my wedding day. I want to feel his laughter at our family Christmas. But in the end, all we have is memories. Memories of days gone by and lives lived in pure love.
So next time I want to sense his presence, I will call my nieces and invite them to a game. Or I’ll plan an enormous vacation with my sisters. And I’ll text my brothers to golf when if I need to see his smile in the sunshine.
“The king is gone but he’s not forgotten” --Neil Young
