Two years ago, I signed my 3-year-old up for violin lessons at The Music Academy in Rockford. I’ve been a violin teacher for over 20 years so I thought this was going to be - not easy - but at least fun. I have a wealth of games, an understanding of kids, and my doctoral dissertation was a pedagogical handbook. Somehow, all of that expertise disappeared when we started lessons.
My child was resistant to all practicing. He didn’t care about my teaching games. There were tears and versions of my personality that I didn’t know existed. Am I ruining my relationship with my child? Is this worth it?
A turning point happened when my son attended a violin class that I was teaching. He observed the teacher-me as opposed to the practicing-parent-me. I was fun and kind and got results. The next time we were preparing to practice, he told me, “just be nice.” Crushing. Confirmed. I am a life-ruiner. Something needed to change.
Since then, my goal has been to find what works for my child. My son is growing and changing and it’s a moving target but I’m growing and changing, too.
Back to my insecurities: is it worth it? Ultimately, yes. My child and I are building a stronger bond because of the struggle. Because we challenge each other and rise to the occasion. And bonus - he is becoming a musician and that is a gift that he will have forever.