The holidays can be stressful for everyone. We have to deal with our family members, with whom our relationships are sometimes toxic and stressful. But the holidays are especially dangerous for individuals who are in abusive relationships. Abuse can escalate when there is alcohol involved and perpetrators are more likely to be home. Financial stress from holiday shopping can cause tension.
No one ever says that they want to spend their holidays in a domestic violence shelter and it takes an extraordinary act of courage to come in. To open gifts in a bedroom that is not your own and to celebrate your holidays with strangers. To spend your holidays uncertain of what the future will hold.
Because abusers isolate their partners and often take control of the finances, it is not uncommon for individuals to come to our shelter with no support network, no money, and no plan for what to do next. And it’s our job here at Safe Passage to help them put together the pieces of this puzzle through case management and counseling.
It’s also important to remember the invisible abuse that people that you love could be experiencing. Be aware of canceled plans, frequent check-ins. And for those of you who are spending time with families of origin with whom you didn’t have a healthy dynamic, give yourself permission to protect yourself. Take space. Leave if you can. Remind your children that you are breaking this cycle with them.
It’s okay to set boundaries and it’s okay to put yourself first.
