As the years tick by, the list of things I don't understand continues to grow. And since I have just 90 seconds, here are three currently hurting my brain:
Running red lights. I taught my kids that if they are first in line at a light, they should wait a few seconds after it turns green and then go. I get that someone is speeding because they're late for a tee time and someone else missed the light while holding a mocha latte and a cellphone, but could they slow down and prevent a few high-speed, often fatal T-bone crashes? That would be great.
Drunk driving — it's 2026. We all have cellphones and access to transportation apps. Why is this STILL a thing? Seriously, you've just tied one on and you can't open your phone to summon a ride-sharing app or call a friend or family member? And Tiger Woods — don't even get me started. Doesn't he have people?
The previous rant about drunk driving does not apply to those who live in Wisconsin, as I know it's part of the culture there.
Finally, listing side effects of pharmaceuticals in radio and TV ads — some of them seem far worse than the diseases or conditions they're designed to treat.
"Taking WesterZempicCyclene may put you at risk for:
skin discoloration and oozing pustules,
a foreign body exiting your abdomen, like in the 1979 film 'Alien,'
uncontrolled flatulence,
exploding eyeballs,
inflammation of your tongue to the size of a bovine's,
your face swelling up like a basketball and …
full liquefaction of your organs."
Yet when these side effects are listed over gentle imagery of an attractive couple walking along the beach to the soothing sounds of Enya, I somehow feel OK about them.
I'm Wester Wuori, and side effects of listening to me may include wanting to turn off the radio. And that's my perspective.
Copy Edited by Eryn Lent
