My wife and I recently celebrated 25+ years of marriage.
Over the years, we’ve both made good use of what we learned in Marriage School. Wait, no. There was no marriage school!
Like millions before us, we jumped into the marriage pool, not knowing how to swim. This stuff is hard. And few tell you that when you’re young and in the throes of love and lust.
Yet, here we are, a quarter-century later and despite more ups and downs than the Dow Jones Industrial Average, our long-term returns are still positive.
My wife and I are both strong-willed. We’re competitive. Intense. Confident. A bit controlling. And sure, that leads to tension.
While we certainly complement each other (that’s complement with an “e”), we also can be more Lindsey Buckingham/Stevie Nicks than Mike/Carol Brady.
Yet, we also make each other laugh. We learn from each other. We push each other in the gym. We have high expectations for each other and our kids.
We’ve also discovered we’re NOT the same people who met as camp counselors at Camp Winnebago one summer between college years. We’ve evolved. And we try to manage that evolution so it still works within our marriage.
We’re also free-range parents who’ve imparted the values of hard work and adventure in our kids. That includes family mottos like: “Always bring reading material.” “Don’t do stupid stuff.” “Spend less than you earn.” “Be kind.”
So far, the kids have turned out OK, with one in college in the Valley of the Sun and the other doing the same in the Mile High City.
If I were talking to a young person pondering marriage, I’d tell them this stuff is REALLY HARD. You’ll be riding the waves more often than floating in the calm. However, that’s what makes it interesting. And, when your time runs out, you hope you’ve left a legacy on which a better future can be built.
I’m Wester Wuori. Still married. And that’s my Perspective.
