In my professional discipline, counseling, we learn a lot about family systems theory which also notes that people tend to recapitulate their family dynamics in the workplace. For instance, if you’re the family hero, you probably excel at work, too. If you grew up in a dysfunctional family, and to be honest, every family is at least a little dysfunctional, you might seek a workplace that’s a little dysfunctional, too. This allows you to play out the role you’ve spent your life learning.
While recognizing dysfunctional families tend to have heroes, scapegoats, mascots, and enablers, one thing that they definitely have in common is a high level of unpredictability. Everyone walks on eggshells because they don’t want to set anyone off. The unpredictability shapes the family system and influences children’s development in lasting ways.
The unpredictability of a leader’s actions is similar. They diminish trust in the system and stoke fear of what might happen next. There are many ways to lead, but the leadership traits that people value most are consistently found to be honesty, open-mindedness, and compassion. People crave stability and certainty, but erratic behavior in a leader can lead to uncertainty and anxiety. For anyone who grew up in a dysfunctional family, the current climate probably feels much too familiar.
People need to feel that their leaders have their best interest at heart, and if that’s not the vibe you’re getting, voice your thoughts in ways that will be heard. And seek out likeminded others in spaces where security and compassion are found.
I’m Suzanne Degges-White and that’s my perspective.
