How do you get angry?
I'm not asking why. The question is how. If you're like me, you follow a pattern.
My angry dance is predictable. Generally, I am alone when I vent. I don't worry about volume, and it does fill the room for a moment. I never concentrate on what I am saying. I just spew out a string of cuss words. It's always the same.
My venting is verbal. Short and quick. I don't knock over lamps or kick the dog. In fact, the dog, and my wife, are the anger police in our house.
The dog has keen ears. Within seconds he is in the room, his big brown eyes staring at me. It's pretty clear he wants me to calm down. My wife also has super hearing but her confrontation comes later.
"Why were you so upset?" she asks.
"The usual," I say or I say nothing, knowing what comes next.
"I don't like it," she says. "It bothers me."
So I need a way to be angry but not express it. I thought venting, releasing the steam, was healthy. But some experts say that is a myth, that venting actually heats up aggression. Can be bad for the heart. Anger vibes need to be reduced. Try meditating and yoga, they say.
Well, I don't carry a yoga mat with me. So it really comes down to age-old advice: “Just relax. Count to 10.” Stuff like that.
I know my wife has known this for a long time. What I don't understand is how the dog knows.
I’m Lonny Cain … and that’s my Perspective.
