If you’ve ever played or even watched sports, this is probably a pretty familiar scene: a parent, coach, or fan yelling at a referee at a youth sports game. Maybe you’ve even yelled at a ref or two from the comfort of your living room while watching on TV. They’re easy targets in their zebra-striped shirts.
But mistreating youth sports officials has real consequences for the kids who are there to play. Right as sports were ramping back up after COVID disruptions, the Illinois High School Association had fewer refs than they’d had in at least a decade.
“Our officiating numbers had dropped to a low point," said Kurt Gibson, director of officiating at IHSA, "and schools were really struggling to find officials to work all the games they had on their schedule."
For every 100 newly patched refs, 70-80 will be gone after their first few years.
“The treatment they were receiving," he said, "mostly from fans, was the reason people were leaving."
That’s why IHSA has been partnering with Officially Human for the past two years. Officially Human produces PSAs and training videos to ask fans and coaches to put themselves in a referee's shoes and whistle.
Brenda Hilton is the CEO and founder of Officially Human. She says their PSAs and videos had to be deeper than “please, don’t be a jerk.” For example, their course for coaches asks them to consider the craft of officiating and think about why people become refs in the first place.
“Each section kind of takes somebody along the journey of an official," she said. "Ralph is the official in the video. How did Ralph become an official? He was an ex-athlete. He wanted to stay involved with the game. He's got a wife, two kids.”
That’s true for so many officials. Many played growing up, often through the college level. Officially Human surveyed thousands of refs and 70% said they do it for the love of the game.
That’s certainly the case for Jeff Carr. He’s been refereeing football -- from 10-year-olds all the way up to the Big 10 — for nearly a half century.
He played college football, wanted to stay connected to the game he loved, and found that through officiating.
And he puts a ton of work into his craft. That means going to seminars, watching film of his games, and seeing how coaches teach techniques and what he can watch for.
“Going to practices and stuff with these schools, and here, the way they're being coached and stuff, gives you a whole different insight into the game," he said.
Jeff Myles is another longtime referee. His story is similar to the other Jeff’s. He played and loved sports growing up and wanted to stay in the game. At first, it was about making some extra money too, but for Myles, refereeing is also about giving back to his community -- creating a safe and fun place for kids to play.
“It has brought me great joy and comfort being able to be a referee and give back, whether it's to youth or adults," said Myles, "but it's a way of life for me now."
On top of helping kids, he says it’s helped him grow a lot as well.
“It taught me so many disciplines," he said. "Your preparation, being to the game an hour beforehand, dealing with your conflict resolution skills."
Those conflict resolution skills are crucial when fan or coach behavior gets out of hand. And, unfortunately, he does see it a lot.
“When the game's over, we still have to walk outside to our car, and sometimes that can be difficult," said Myles. "You're looking over your shoulder. That's real.”
There are other challenges too. They don’t get paid much. For high school varsity games, Myles will make around $80. There’s also extensive travel, especially when -- during peak basketball season -- he’s officiating 4-5 days a week.
When you have a referee shortage, sometimes they don’t have enough. Games are moved or delayed as they wait for refs to arrive. Sometimes inexperienced officials are forced to cover games they’re not ready for -- which can lead to mistakes.
And then, the officiating itself is difficult, especially without the help of instant replay at the youth level. Refs say that technology on TV also makes fans expect refs not to make a single mistake.
Jeff Carr thinks about how fans on both sides sometimes think the officials are cheating in the other’s favor. But honestly, there are plenty of times when he doesn’t even know the score.
“There's such a high concentration on every play," he said, "that you only look at the things that pertain to you, such as the play clock or what this guy's doing or how many seconds are left in the game."
At IHSA, the number of refs is starting to rebound. They’ve made several changes to make it easier to become an official and to give great refs recognition. But Kurt Gibson says their Officially Human partnership has played a key role.
Because officials do play a key role. Youth sports can be really important in a kid’s life. And without refs, there is no game.
