Welcome to Poetically Yours. Poetically Yours showcases poems by northern Illinois poets. This week’s poet is Sarah Smith.
Smith grew up in Rockford. She and her mother moved in with her grandmother after her parents parted ways. Smith says she is shy and because of this, she doesn’t share a lot of her work. Her sister was able to convince her to publish a couple of books on Amazon Kindle. Here’s here poem “Shadow Rider.”
I think you always knew him, that Shadow Rider in the night.
When we were young and dumb, even then he clung on tight.
Sometimes you would visit him, on the darkest days;
in winter's deepest nights, or when the storms would rage.
I was left there in the darkness with a husk of what you were,
holding on with all I had, wishing you had heard.
And I would miss you and cry for you, wishing I could ride with you
to that place you went that seemed so far away.
I would kiss you and pray for you, and try to find a way to you,
even when you left me there all day.
Did he force you to ride with him? Or did you choose to go away?
I never could quite tell, and you said you couldn't say.
I hated you; I hated him. I hated what we were.
I hated that I never could quite silence his whisper.
Sometimes I could drown it out, for days or even weeks!
But every time, right in our prime, it was his arms you would seek.
And I would miss you and cry for you, wishing I could ride with you
to that place you went that seemed so far away.
I would kiss you and pray for you, and try to find a way to you,
for I knew that even stars could lose their way.
And those times between your rides, they were sweet; they were right!
You and I, we were good - I loved you, loved your light.
Even when it dimmed, and it flickered in the night,
I would sit there in the darkness and stoke it back to light.
We were one, you and I - we made children, had a life!
Everything we wanted...and still, with him, you'd ride.
And we would miss you and cry for you, wishing we could ride with you
to that place you went that seemed so far away.
We would kiss you and pray for you, and try to find a way to you,
even when it seemed you'd rather stay.
Did you ever truly love us? Is that how you could let go?
And leave us in the darkness, without so much as a glow.
Did I finally lose the battle that I'd fought so very long?
Or did I win a thousand battles, every day that you held on?
I think you always knew him, that Shadow Rider in the night.
You always knew that he would take you no matter how much we did right.
Now they miss you and cry for you, and I don't want to lie for you
so I tell them that you've gone far and away.
Now they miss you and pray for you, and thank me for their stay with you,
for they know that even stars can lose their way.
