There’s an old joke that duct tape and WD40 can fix anything. Duct tape keeps things from moving when they shouldn’t, and WD40 gets things moving when they are stuck. Wouldn’t it be great if relationships were that easy to maintain? Well, maybe they are.
Acceptance is a lot like WD40. This means that you are willing to accommodate your partner’s behaviors even when they aren’t exactly the behaviors you’d prefer. The WD40 of acceptance shows that you can let some things roll off your back in order to keep the peace in the relationship.
Support is the duct tape of a relationship. When you provide instrumental support to your partner, like packing his lunch or filling up her car at the gas station, you are creating an atmosphere of mutual dependence. Your partner can rely on you for some things, and you can rely on your partner for others. The balance that develops becomes mutually beneficial and essential to long-term relationship survival.
Lastly, commitment is like a combination of duct tape and WD40. It’s a willingness to let your partner’s goals sometimes outweigh your own. This might mean eating Chinese when you really crave pizza or relocating to the West Coast because that’s where your partner’s dream job is located. It’s about compromise, which is like a quick shot of WD40 and a few inches of duct tape, too.
Acceptance, Support, and Commitment just may be the duct tape and WD40 for relationships.
I’m Suzanne Degges-White, and that’s my perspective.
