Do you ever spend time wondering how your life today might be better if only something in the past had happened differently? Perhaps it is time for you to stop mourning the “if only” and begin living “as if.”
Some of us allow our inner states to be controlled by the actions of others. Fortunately, we don’t have to let this happen. How we choose to perceive, internalize, and react to others’ actions is what really counts. It's not what is "done" to us that controls us; it is what we “do” to ourselves.
Next time you find yourself wondering about the “if onlies” in your life, go ahead and imagine how you would feel inside if one of these external events had unfolded in different way.
Would you smile more often to yourself and others? Be more confident? Treat yourself better? Enjoy life more? Go ahead and start living as if this was your new reality.
How you treat yourself really does demonstrate how you expect to be treated by others. While we cannot directly change another’s beliefs or behaviors, we are always in charge of what we believe about and how we treat ourselves.
Yoga teachers and Buddhist practitioners might ask, "Am I smiling because I am happy or am I happy because I am smiling?"
I would ask if it’s time to stop bemoaning the “if onlies” and start living your life “as if”? The choice will always rest with you.
I’m Suzanne Degges-White, and that’s my perspective
