I’ve been thinking a lot about death lately. My 78-year-old mother has Parkinson’s disease. This disease makes you lose control of your muscles, which is a bummer because muscles are pretty important. She has had some falls that have robbed her of her mobility and severely reduced her quality of life.
As kids, most of us think that our parents aren’t really real. Their everydayness makes them seem eternal. Of course, we eventually discover that our parents are not invincible. And, for us older children, new revelations come as a parent nears the end of their life. It’s this double whammy of “Wow, my mom is going to die at some point” and, also, “Wow, I am going to die at some point.” We all know this, but there’s a difference between knowing something and internalizing it.
So, realizing that I will die, the important question is: “How should I live?” What really matters? Does nothing matter? Does everything matter? I got some insight while watching a comedy special recently. The comedian described talking with an older family friend who was dying from cancer. The comedian asked his friend if he had any wisdom to share. The friend said, “Enjoy every sandwich.”
Maybe it’s that simple: “enjoy whatever you’re doing, even when it’s mundane.” That may not be the answer for everyone, but it rings true to me. And, it seems like something worth practicing until the very end.
I’m Elizabeth Stearns, and that’s my perspective.