The start of a new year is always accompanied by a flurry of lists touting the words that were most popular. What no one seems to mention is the need to create an updated version of Ambrose Bierce's Devil's Dictionary.
This masterpiece of satire has such perennials as his definition for history: “An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools,” as well as such poetic entries for envelope: “The coffin of a document; the scabbard of a bill; the husk of a remittance; the bed-gown of a love-letter.”
For the new version, I would include the much-abused noun choice: “Purposely created to mislead.” When offered a choice, an existing benefit is being withdrawn and replaced by less desirable options. The recipient is fooled into freely electing one of the lesser options and thereby feels empowered. When choice is used in the context of healthcare, it always indicates a loss of coverage.
Of course, this leads to empowered: “Used by those in authority to maintain the facade that the opinion of underlings matter.
I think I am on a roll! Survey: “The persistent pestering of useless questionnaires that conveniently avoid mention of anything that could lead to an improvement.” And finally, customer service: “An oxymoron which signifies that the customer is doing the service. Always preceded by myriad lists of categories inapplicable to the customer's problem and followed by a survey.”
What do you want in the new Devil's Dictionary?
I'm Frances Jaeger, and this is my perspective.
